Funny Status Messages

   I just pressed the Popcorn setting for defrosting on my microwave and it said "wrong button".

   Doc asked if I had a strong stream and I told him it’s so strong sometimes I flood the shower.

   With our election choices, I now know how hard it is to be a gold digger!

   Remember that time you found out your crush felt the same way? It’s kinda like that, but it’s just me discovering there are still Pringles in this can.

   Don't forget that the guy who's the reason for the season loves you! And I don't mean Sam Walton.

   Outlook for the rest of winter ... Criss de colisse de tabarnak?!?

   Betty white to preform at next year at 2022 Superbowl ...

   if you we are in the midst of a text/chat conversation and you insist on suddenly delaying your responses withou informing me why then don't expect me to wait and wonder. I moved on after your first delay.

   purposely walked thru and disrupted a wedding so that I could then whip out mentos and pop one in my mouth and smile and make things all good again

   I hope and pray for the day that seals become domesticated. I already have a saddle picked out for when I take mine for a walk.

   o the US Govt. Infected Guatemalan's with Gonorrhea back in the 50's. 1. Why? 2. I bet it was a social experiment more than medical. "Hey lets see if Miguel can talk his way out of this one."

   so Columbus Day has come and gone, but I'm still not taking down my decarations

   rip Barbara Billingsley, Beaver Cleaver's TV mom, dies

   running down the street bare footed to get to ice cream truck on time!

   I need a beer....Or a pillow....or both

   until money changes color, my favorite color is green.

   your hairstyle aint your lifestyle

   Figuring out the three seashells thing is a very messy business...

   Shakeweight.......most akward way of working out xD

   Winners should have 2 things: Definite goals ...And the burning desire to achieve them