Funny Status Messages

   Thinks Spiders are incredible. Us humans think we are so smart...Lets try shooting silk outta our butts and see what we could make!

   Do you think P.Diddy ever wakes up feeling like kesha ?

   all these pokes I'm getting am I supposed to sound like the pillsbury doughboy

   Facebook your always asking whats on my mind...But what I really want to know is whats on your mind?

   ˙sıɥʇ op pןnoɔ noʎ ɥsıʍ noʎ ʍouʞ noʎ

   alright...who's been spraying the arsehole aerosol in the air again!?

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   Dear makers of poppies, as much as I respect the poppy and what it is a symbol of, I would have thought that you would have been able to make a more secure fastening device by now. And perhaps one that doesn't stab the wearer several times a day. I'm just

   Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!

   If you smell cheese and see pizza ur hungry. If you smell cheese and see feet ur disgusted. Now make up ur mind will ya! Either you like the smell of cheese or not.

   heard on the news that Justin Bieber won like 2 million awards last night but he's only sold 4 CDs. wtf?

   I can hardly stand the wait, please christmas don't be late!!

   It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look without the beer googles.

   Once they learn how to prevent pizza rolls from exploding out molten hot lava, then I'll believe in the ability if science.

   you can get whatever you want in this life if you have self confidence,determination...and an AK-47 wz unlimited ammo..

   I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....

   if a fly didn't have wings, would it be called "walk" ?

   thinks that the Waltons take way too long to say good night!

   I really think that one whom sratches his or her own ass, should not bite their Fingernails

   Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.