Funny Status Messages

   How about we start being thankful everyday,,, then have a holiday once a year called Complainsgiving?... It could even be tied somehow to Festivus

   ladies it's hard for us to read your thoughts if you already vocalize each and every last one of them

   Its not about how many friends you have. Its about how many of your friends you can rely on in times of trouble.

   This morning, I got robbed in the shower by some soap scum.

   My boss and I will have to agree to disagree. He wants me to do stuff that will make him money. I want to do stuff that will get me drunk.

   Wanted GF. A girl with good cooking skills and a jet ski, please show pic of jet ski.

   I'm not saying my ex wife was crazy but she was jealous of my dog...

   Papacy - humans praying to another human.

   Lost in all this marriage debate are the Tranny's. Who can they marry, either sex or neither sex??

   funny, I see anyone wearing those "LiveStrong" wristbands anymore...

   How do you choke someone without killing them? Asking for a friend.

   If You Can't Be With The One You Love... Slap The One You're With!

   I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.

   Spending Christmas in a little town called Red Bud. I'm sure it will be a fine holiday experience.

   Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

   How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

   haha yeah dude she talks about you all the time . .. . . she hates you..

   I remember the day like it was yesterday when I realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

   Should I say Thank You when someone tell me *You look good TODAY!!!*?

   I was carring my baby cousin and a dragon fly lands on my shoulder in the parking lot. The shoulder that is also the start button for me to go into scream, panic, and drop everything mode