Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon This is our Mahoment!!
←Rate | 02-05-2024 12:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to popular demand, the Kansas City Chiefs are changing their name to the Kansas City Swifties.
←Rate | 02-05-2024 10:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people text me: "Call me". I'm gonna start calling people and when they answer, I'm gonna say, "Text me", and hang up.
←Rate | 02-04-2024 10:11 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is tell them to get out. I don't like visitors.
←Rate | 02-02-2024 10:24 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I burned 1000 calories avoiding someone I know at Walmar
←Rate | 01-31-2024 01:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AI photos are like instant mashed potatoes. You can easily tell they're weird, tasteless and nowhere near the real thing.
←Rate | 01-30-2024 09:02 by FezzeeLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: [donating my body to Science] Science: [donates my body to Goodwill] Goodwill: [Leaves body on their lawn, with a sign that says "Free..please take!"] 🀷
←Rate | 01-29-2024 16:07 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taylor Swift is worth $1.1 billion, yet you imbeciles let her live inside your skulls rent free.
←Rate | 01-29-2024 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did.
←Rate | 01-29-2024 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with autocorrect is that it often makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.
←Rate | 01-28-2024 10:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chewbacca's redneck cousin is Chewstobacco
←Rate | 01-27-2024 20:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Left wants everything in the world to be electric or run on batteries? Start with the border wall!
←Rate | 01-26-2024 17:18 by X Comments (0)  


   messageicon The TV show 'Hoarders' is ok and all but I liked it so much better when it was called 'Sanford and Son'.
←Rate | 01-26-2024 10:58 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I eat my last bite of food, not realizing it was the last bite,then immediately get sad because I wasn't able to mentally prepare myself. πŸ₯“πŸ•πŸ”πŸ²πŸ˜₯
←Rate | 01-25-2024 21:25 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I've made a lot mistakes in my life, but just know you were never one of them" -ME (looking at my triple bacon cheeseburger...extra bacon).
←Rate | 01-25-2024 11:28 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I kept staring at the orange juice carton too long because it said "Concentrate"!
←Rate | 01-25-2024 09:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how we smack your household appliances when they’re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
←Rate | 01-25-2024 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.
←Rate | 01-24-2024 15:28 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket and that you're a really good catch!
←Rate | 01-24-2024 05:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hoes be looking for guys with the same initials as there x. So they don't have to edit they tattoos . Lol
←Rate | 01-23-2024 11:39 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  



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