Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Sorry I slapped you, didn't seem like you would stop talking so I panicked.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not sure how people will react when they find out I'm actually a robot.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In China, forklifts are called chop-stick lifts.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sold my homing pigeon 142 times last year on eBay.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how it feels.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just pulled on a nose hair and one of my pubes disappeared.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when we go on a weekend trip and my wife forgets to pack her vagina.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If she spits on her hot-dog before eating it, you are in for a treat my man.
←Rate | 10-04-2021 11:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jeremiah was and still is a bullfrog, but he has never caught a rabbit and he certainly aint no friend of mine.
←Rate | 10-02-2021 14:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What I learned from Gilligan's Island: You can go camping for five years wearing a pair of white pants and they will still look brand new.
←Rate | 10-02-2021 12:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If my call is that important to them, why do I have to listen to Air Supply for 20 minutes before they answer?
←Rate | 10-02-2021 12:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I support full facial nudity.
←Rate | 10-02-2021 05:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If somebody has a 50 gallon barrel for rainwater please PM me, but I'm not going to pick it up because I don't need it.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 19:59 by Davidznyc Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a dream that I got a job with Lynyrd Skynyrd, and then I woke up. I didn't even make it to my first live show.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 19:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it me, or does Mike Lindell look like Paul Bearer from WWE?
←Rate | 10-01-2021 13:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I spend 90% of my time online waiting for password reset emails
←Rate | 10-01-2021 08:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Masks are the new bra. They’re uncomfortable; you only wear them in public, and when you don’t wear one, everyone notices.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are the double maskers going to start yelling at the single maskers?
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bacon is the highest it’s ever been, car dealerships have no new vehicles, 200,000 houses are now 450,000 and grocery store shelves are empty half the time. Things are going so well right now. Thanks, Joe.
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Buy a man eat fish, the day, teach man, to life time.” ~ Joe Biden
←Rate | 10-01-2021 04:04 Comments (0)  

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