Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Immigration puns are funny but they cross the line.
←Rate | 11-27-2015 20:58 by lkl627 Comments (0)  


   messageicon will be giving a live performance today...shower curtain goes up at 5 exactly so be there.
←Rate | 04-13-2009 06:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a Mu$lim and a vampire? At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.
←Rate | 01-14-2015 06:41 by PAPABEAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad, and left with my mom.
←Rate | 01-28-2013 14:26 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bath tubs - 2, Houston's - 0.
←Rate | 07-27-2015 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a problem with me?? Solve it. Think I'm trippin'?? Tie my shoes. Can't stand me?? Sit back down. Can't face me?? Turn the hell around.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 12:59 by Jen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Fox News, So far no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed
←Rate | 03-30-2011 13:10 by BOO Comments (0)  


   messageicon having trouble watering the plastic plants
←Rate | 03-19-2008 23:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco De Mayo, the only day Americans want to be Mexican
←Rate | 05-05-2011 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So this blind man walks into a bar,,,,,,,, and a chair,, and a table.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 18:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK...Iraq sells oil $128 a barrel to us...Yet Iraq buys grain at $7 a bushel from us. Hmmm, solution...Sell grain at $128 a bushel. Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil... I'll bet ya the price of oil comes down real quick....
←Rate | 01-03-2010 11:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say goodnight to facebook are annoying, I mean it's not like facebook is gonna reply goodnight or anything...
←Rate | 10-02-2010 23:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today ... that b*tch was seeing someone else.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 09:06 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being Arab doesn't make you a bad person. It just increases the chances.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 16:34 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holy shi t! Serena Williams is working out at my gym! Wait...maybe it's Venus. Nope... False alarm. Just some random black guy
←Rate | 02-01-2013 14:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon men are the head of the household and women should realize it.Men rule the house! Now if you'll excuse me, I got to go to the store and get my wife some tampons like she asked me or she's going to get angry.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 20:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry Monday but it's over. I am leaving you for Tuesday, please don't be sad.....I have to look to the future....
←Rate | 05-17-2010 23:50 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers,but now they drink like their Fathers...!!!
←Rate | 06-05-2011 05:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sweet dreams are made of cheese... Who am I to disagree?.. I've travelled the world and ate 7 peas... Everybody's lookin fo Dunkin...
←Rate | 10-27-2012 12:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The chemicals released in your brain during sex are the same as when you see someone trip while taking a selfie.
←Rate | 06-03-2015 08:51 Comments (0)  



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