Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   33,000 people attended Hillary clintons rally/ concert yesterday. I wonder if they received the tickets via email..

   Wonder how many FB friends I will be getting back now that the election is over?

   whelp, let me carry my deplorable ars to bed. . .

   Defense attorney: "They were on their way to choir practice".

   If my "check Fuel" light would just "check my wallet"....It would know there's nothing I can do about it

   Marriage Is Like A Deck of cards, In the beginning all you need is a Two Hearts and a Diamond, As it Progresses You Wish You Had A Club and A Spade

   Wonder if Unemployment will be sending me a Christmas bonus this year.

   Santa is really going to enjoy the cookies he gets from Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon and Washington this year.

   they are making new a fast and furious and a new transformers movie. any hope I had for 2017 being a good year has fast evaporated

   So, Mick Jagger is a new father at the age of 73. I guess time really is on his side.

   It always seems impossible until it's done

   All those against armpit tickling raised their hands..... *And what happened next is history.

   I like sleeping because it is kind of like being dead but without the commitment.

   Justin Bieber looks like he needs to be cast in a Home Alone movie.

   I think I'll open a Vietnamese restaurant that never closes and call it "Twenty Pho Seven."

   If I had a penny everytime that I thought about you, my pants would fall down.

   I bet toilet paper rolls in CIA offices all have the 4th Amendment printed on them.

   I was thinking about the wikileaks revelation that the cia records people through their cell phone. It occured to me that they must have millions upon millions of hours of nothing but the sound of a toilet flushing.

   I miss the 90s when grunge rock made bedhead cool and fashionable.

   The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.