Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   hopes he never becomes wise enough to have his wisdom teeth removed

   making the BEST Guacamole dip ever tonight, so tomorrow he will get to "rock out with his Guac out"

   Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

   out of order until further notice...apologize for the inconvenience!

   Healthcare Reform SOLUTION: Senators and Congressmen should have term limits just like the President!

   Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

   I'm the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I'm asleep.

   Reports show that $22 billion in productivity is lost to social media, but I'm pretty sure people slacked off before Facebook.

   How can someone go out to buy groceries and end up in a pub?

   Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.

   has done the mathematical calculations... Tuesday is the humpday of a 3-day work week.

   You can't worry about what ifs friend you have to live in the moment.

   I don’t write to please you. I write to pretend that I write to please you.

   I've fallen! And I can't reach my beer!

   Every man is entitled to his opinion but nobody is entitled to his own facts." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan

   You know it's over when she starts liking and commenting on some other guy's posts and pics.

   I saw 3 people pick up after their dogs this morning. Top of the food chain? .. Yeah right

   Some people update their Facebook status at the most inappropriate times, and this is the longest eulogy I've ever heard.

   things that will never be said #2638: "Boy that Steve Bushemi sure is a good lookin fella"

   If you have to air up your car tire more than once a week, life isn't working out like you planned...