Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Wanna know about people you don't need in you life? Post something with a misspelling and see how fast they "must" correct you

   If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve

   Does Dunkin Donuts make a body spray?... *Asking for a friend..

   Employers at job interviews: We're looking for someone age 22-26 with 30 years of experience.

   Whenever I go running, I meet exciting new people....like paramedics.

   Do pop music artists know about better music?

   Liking your own status on Facebook is like high-fiving yourself in public.

   Coffee Shop Sign: Unattended children will be given double espressos and made wild promises about what Santa is bringing them.

   Mornings were made for sleeping, wild sex, and bacon.

   Kinda want to text you, kinda what to block your number.

   Stop saying I'm hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is.

   Lesser men would have given up after twenty years of outrageous fame and fortune, but Leo persevered, and now he has a small trophy.

   If Wendy's think their square burgers are so awesome, why don't they use square buns??

   Plot twist: you can't play the guitar on the MTV, gotta work for money and chicks aren't free.

   If Steve Buscemi can have a movie career surely there is hope for us all.

   People who say "May the 4th be with you" are the same people who say "see you next year" at the employee Christmas party.

   A “Tap Out” sticker on your mini van still makes it a mini van.

   I put my phone in Airplane mode and now Leslie Nielsen won't leave until I promise to stop calling him Shirley

   Does this status make me look fat?

   I would beat the sh*t out of the kid who plays Joffrey in Game of thrones. I don’t care if it’s just acting.