Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   To think, it takes time. To think what to think takes even more time. To think what you just read takes less time.

   We have a saying in our house. Well, to be accurate my wife has a saying. I have a listening.

   I do NOT have an attitude problem... Yes, I may have the attitude, but YOU'RE the one that seems to have a problem with it...

   Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence... now go away...

   i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. God I miss college. a moment ago clear

   The new version of Pac-Man was so awesome, it came with a search engine built into it... Can we have it back...?

   I think its high time we let our freak flags fly..... :)~

   Its like the whole world is out on the roads today driving like a pack of grandmas on their way to Bob Evan's after church on a Sunday. Sheesh!!!

   often thought that what doesn't kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.

   When you have a good imagination, you can make up all the facts you want.

   Two people in every one is a schizophrenic.

   more frustrated than Muhammad Ali trying to play "Operation"

   I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.

   So today I have to write my review for work. What's the best way to put, “I golfed over 200 rounds this last summer while you paid me to be at my office?”

   Boy.... That sure is a lot of attitude for someone wearing panda ear rings.

   printing off a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills....

   Guess Lesnar should have feared more then just the Diarrhea from Mexico

   If a toyota prius crashes into a tree, does it make a sound?

   The Internet: Where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head

   Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so as not to appear a complete shut-in who hasn't left the house. -Sent from my iPhone