Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

   I fight evil wherever it may be….except in dark, scary places.

   The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.

   Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

   Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom

   principles. If you don't like them I have others.

   never wants to go to bed, yet I never want to wake up in the morning. Why can't my "late night" self make some kind of compromise with my "early morning have-to-go-to work" self?

   that you shouldn't base your life on what other people think!

   Dear politicians: don't kid yourself for a moment that I'll believe a single word you say in the next month. Seriously. Save your breath.

   doesn't allow men to smoke in his room, but women can. Hell, they can barbecue a goat if they want.

   drunker then a two dollar hooker on topless tuesday.."

   sad that '24' is coming to an end after 8 seasons. I have given 8 whole days of my life to this series.

   just got a 'friend request' from Dr. Phil as suggested by another friend....Hmmmm, is this friend trying to tell me something???

   If love is blind does that mean divorce is lasik surgery?

   Wants to thank BP. Now I can wash and oil my lettuce at the same time

   If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

   When the world kicks you when you're down, breaks its legs.

   All you single ladies, put your applications in

   I don't know about you, but if corpses don't rise from the ground and renact the Thriller video at Jacko's funeral I will never be happy again.

   just a KID, if you can read reverse..