Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon A faulty judgement or bad IQ?!
←Rate | 08-11-2015 17:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone invites you to their immaculate, tidy home and says "sorry about the mess", run. They have killed before and they will kill again
←Rate | 12-03-2015 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... and then the Devil said,,, "Shorten all the charging wires to no more than a 3 foot length."
←Rate | 01-05-2016 20:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat...now THAT'S bad for you.
←Rate | 01-06-2016 09:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just hid my teenage son's Christmas gifts behind the vacuum, in the dishwasher and next to the trash can that needs to be taken out.....guaranteed he will never find them!
←Rate | 12-02-2013 21:44 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bartender can beat up your psychiatrist, now pop a pill while I have a drink!
←Rate | 12-14-2013 23:24 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joe Namath's coat saw it's shadow... 6 more weeks of winter.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 17:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time magazine has named “Ebola Fighters” the 2014 Person of the Year. The Ebola fighters said they were honored to be chosen and look forward to the ceremony. Then Time said, "Oh no, we'll just mail them to you."
←Rate | 12-11-2014 15:41 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone on Facebook ever actually get laid? Asking for me.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 08:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistics say more than one third of marriages start online. The other two thirds will end online...
←Rate | 01-19-2015 20:47 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mine, I was cramping the morning, blew a gasket on the toilet, sure enough, Kanye was in the bowl.
←Rate | 02-09-2015 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1st sneeze: Bless you. 2nd sneeze: Bless you 3rd sneeze: Get out of my life until you are finished with whatever this is
←Rate | 02-17-2015 13:41 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You the bomb!" "No you the bomb!" -a complement in America; an argument in the Middle East.
←Rate | 03-03-2015 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I can't tell if I'm being funny or if I'm just unbelievably depressed
←Rate | 04-25-2015 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I do? My google machine just rang.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 21:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just walked into a spider web and now I know all of Katy Perry's dance moves.
←Rate | 05-06-2015 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the day that the Blues was made for. Thank you B.B. (Blues Boy) King for everything.
←Rate | 05-15-2015 04:11 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
←Rate | 06-18-2014 09:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to see real peace and a state of Israel living peacefully alongside a state of Palestine.
←Rate | 07-14-2014 18:16 Comments (0)  



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