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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I want to be a Disney Princess... Mostly so I would have random animals help me with my housework
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03-26-2013 17:39 by
Yoda
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Raise some kids, raise a family, grow old together... God that sounds like a fairytale these days.
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12-26-2012 00:14 by
matthewmuthafuckinmccord!!!!
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Be thankful.....in dog years, you're dead.
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09-02-2012 22:52 by
K-Mac
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I just saw Snooki! Wait...nevermind. It was just a trash can.
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09-13-2012 10:31 by
Baddie
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I started reading a book on S&M, but I got tied up and couldn't finish it
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09-20-2012 13:33
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How was I supposed to know she was ugly? She had boobs.
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10-01-2012 04:59
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In case anyone asks, we found these dead hookers while we were digging holes in the woods.
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10-27-2012 15:49 by
Baddie
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Way to go Colorado... haha I can see it now. Pot Stamps for those who can't afford to buy their own pot.
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11-07-2012 09:34
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Can't wait until they make odorless whiskey so I don't have to be embarrassed when I open my Gatorade at AA meetings.
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12-10-2012 10:46 by
LadyInRed
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Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
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07-26-2013 23:20 by
BEGO
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it too late for Justin Bieber's mom to have an abortion?
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08-03-2013 11:19
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8 planets, 1 universe, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and I just HAD to find yo dumbass.
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07-16-2012 22:16 by
BEGO
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Laughter is not the best medicine. Please take your medicine.
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04-17-2013 09:28
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If you do kindness to others, others will do you with kindness.
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04-19-2013 14:46
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If you had told me 30 years ago that I'd be talking to strangers on the Internet all day, I woulda told you to shut up and pack another bowl....
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05-16-2013 22:22 by
sully
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Kanye's kid is gonna have a hard time understanding GPS instructions. GPS: "Turn North West." North West: "Yeah, but which way do I turn?"
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06-22-2013 12:37 by
Czovczov
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White = psycho. Black = thug. Arab = terrorist. Humans = idiots.
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09-29-2012 15:14 by
Baddie
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I'm still kinda pi'ssed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
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10-02-2012 11:14
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Sence its started raining, all my wife has done is looking through the windows. If it gets any worse I'm gonna have to let her in!
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10-09-2012 17:59 by
MWC
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It's Valentine's Day... If you arer married, go and kiss your wife or husband, if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, do the same... and if you are single, kiss the ground and thank GOD!!! =)) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
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02-14-2013 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
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