Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm one boob, you're the other boob and together...we're Breast friends.

   Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you

   I dropped my laptop in the ocean, So now theres a dell rolling in the deep.

   Guess what happened to me last night?????? I had a Dream.......

   Kobe Bryant played last night for the Lakers against despite flu like symptoms. Apparently neither team was worried about H1N1 - it's Kobe, he never passes anything.

   Teacher asked the class to spell a 12 letter word! Kid Says: Masturbation! Teacher Says: WOW! That's a mouth full!?! Kids says: No! you're thinking of Blow Job.

   When I woke up this morning I half expected to find a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet...

   Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.

   brought to you by the letters W T F.

   making a list of why you suck

   My girlfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I replied "your sister." Was that wrong?

   What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Sex

   • Here's to our husbands and boyfriends: May they never meet!

   LOOK LEFT ------------------------> you failed.

   it's my first american thanksgiving how many guns do I bring?

   Firefox; the best browser to download Google's YOUTUBE videos.

   Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.

   If you're smart, handsome with a good personality you can get any girl except a black one.

   Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30

   Thanks to Obama i'm at the supermarket buying my Marie Calender Thanksgiving Turkey dinner.