Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   .... I was watching th news tonite .... I thought I was watching the violent Black Friday shopping mayhem .... turns out it was just the Black Lives Matter protests .... ....

   My NRA firearms Instructor beats your demo rapist movie producer or former President

   Even if Mexico wins, they still lose, because they have to go back to Mexico...

   Somewhere right now in the hood, someone is yelling "Domino Mother F**ker!"

   My wife said I'm an idiot who can't do the simplest of things right. So I packed her bags and left.

   My wife said, "I want you to toast some bread for me." So I raised my wine glass and said, "To bread!"

   Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had..

   If you're homophobic, it's important to remember that they're more afraid of you than you are of them

   Todays my Grandmas birthday, but she doesnt have a cell phone for me to text or a facebook wall for me to write on, what do I do?

   While your at camp for deer season, I'm out hunting the beaver you left behind.

   Wirtten on Hand dryer in Airport: Press & wait for a message from the President.

   it too much to ask that the ATM spit out an extra $20 every now and again?

   Deleting your facebook is like running away from home. `You`re just doing it for attention and you'll be back in an hour`.

   How many donut holes constitute a serving?... Please say 33. Please say 33..... I mean 34. Please say 34.

   So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...

   If a man speaks his mind in a forest, and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?

   I used a sta tus I stole from here that had 8 L IKES, but on my page it only got 2 L IKES. Can I get a refund?

   I'd rather lose an eye than show an old person how to use a computer.

   A woman with big boobs will never truly know if she's actually interesting.

   So the electric motor on our ceiling fan went out. We had a old blender that was about to be a yard sale item so I modified it and rigged it on the ceiling fan. Now I have off, high, tornado, and hurricane. And oddly, a self cleaning house now.....