Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The only time I'll ever need an intervention is if they name a beer after it.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hope it isnt wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 08:40 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I am tired of being treated as a perfect piece of meat by woman. I am so tired of them only seeing the perfect man with unbelievable flawless features .......Try talking for once , bet you didn't even know I used to have a goldfish
←Rate | 09-12-2013 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until ALL the birds have gone South for the Winter.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 19:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the things life has given to me... I would like to return 20 lbs.
←Rate | 09-20-2013 16:16 by Pipo Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's almost as if Kanye West doesn't realize his girlfriend actually made and distributed p orn.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 15:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not an a$$hole, I just play one around stupid people.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not enough to just be in a relationship, now you have to state what type too? FB is out of control!!! What the heck is a open domestic partnership? That's just pimping ....
←Rate | 10-22-2013 15:41 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any teenager who is anxious to run his or her own life is obviously too young to do it.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 23:50 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The whole idea of a drug free workplace is funny, isn't it? I mean the workplace is why I need drugs in the first place.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 00:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear the Christmas song about "nuts roasting on an open fire" I cringed. My wife plays that song over and over when she's mad at me..... even if it's in July
←Rate | 12-15-2013 13:00 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well if you didn't want alcohol at your one year sobriety party...shouldn't have invited me!
←Rate | 12-22-2013 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well the NFC East Division Champ will be decided next week when the Cowboys host the Eagles. This just in, Tony Romo already threw an interception!
←Rate | 12-22-2013 22:00 by IndyDave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 14:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it “binge drinking” I call it “making up for lost time when I could have been drinking” drinking.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No its not a nightmare. You are just married.
←Rate | 08-24-2014 05:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon lol no thanks,,, my tires rotate themselves every day
←Rate | 09-04-2014 18:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon iOS 8.0.1 is designed to get people to stop calling their friends to brag about owning the new iPhone.
←Rate | 09-24-2014 14:32 Comments (0)  



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