Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.

   Worrying Is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you something to do but in the end, it gets you nowhere.

   "Dont I know you from somewhere?" = The absolute worst thing to say to someone who is robbing you at gunpoint...

   happy P.O.E.T.S. Day, everyone! Piss On Everything Tommrows Saturday.

   wondering if you have multiple personalities and threaten to kill yourself, is it considered a hostage situation?

   Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.

   If your Thanksgiving plans include tofurkey, then you don't actually have Thanksgiving plans.

   If first dates are interviews, then second dates are negotiatons.

   Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

   heavily medicated for your protection.

   Can now be offensive in 3 different languages.

   Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway!

   maybe if I wear shorts tomorrow summer will come early

   Attending a facebook rehab

   Note to self: Stop writing yourself notes. Love, X

   somehow criminal lawyer seems slightly redundant

   I will say one thing about Lady GaGa. She wears stuff that even Boy George wouldn't be caught out in public in.

   thinks Starbucks should start selling a cup of "shut the _uck up" --grande size!

   a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.

   somedays I wake up b!tchy, other days I just let her sleep in.