Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Fellas, you can usually judge a woman's hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a slut.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 17:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon WWlll is coming. Get your temple in order. And stop believing the media. All media is responsible for the way you think.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 03:33 by TRUTH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls have periods, cramps, babies, and everything else. The least a guy could do is text her first
←Rate | 05-31-2013 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 16:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy birthday to Sir Mix-A-Lot! People forget how persecuted big butts were before he wrote that song.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 10:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do all these dudes driving Smart Cars find room in them for all the p ussy they're pulling in?
←Rate | 02-15-2013 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 21:16 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I got one of those board games for couples to spice things up. It quickly turned into a game of Sorry, which led to me playing a game of Uno.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 10:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello Acme? Me again, I'm gonna need a rocket and some roller skates.. Yeah & a sign with the word yikes on it... No I still haven't caught him
←Rate | 07-28-2013 23:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...Couple who said they had pix of John Stamos w/underage girl in hot tub were indicted for extortion. Turns out the "girl" was Justin Bieber!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 14:05 by The Legal Eagle Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Reality Check bounced.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:40 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tiger Woods: never satisfied with a hole in one.
←Rate | 12-03-2009 05:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does a blonde have TGIF written on thier shoes? Toes Go In First.
←Rate | 12-04-2009 19:38 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Soviet Russia, status updates YOU!
←Rate | 01-01-2010 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the mood to push someone down the stairs hit them over the head with a fire extinguisher then bury the body under the garden patio
←Rate | 03-24-2010 13:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign that said "DRINK CANADA DRY" so I moved to Toronto.
←Rate | 05-19-2010 11:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 15:45 by @Torren_T Comments (9)  


   messageicon Mark Zuckerberg really controls all of our lives, at any moment he could decide to take Facebook offline.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 22:25 by Gr`April Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctors performed emergency surgery on Nancy Grace to remove what they thought was a malignant mass. Turned out it was just her head.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 15:43 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Again, I can't hear you, because… I HAVE A BULLHORN
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:59 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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