Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2664 of 5594

   messageicon If I eat a Chick-fil-a sandwich it doesn't mean I hate gays. If I eat a Jimmy Johns sandwich it doesn't mean I support the killing of exotic animals. All it means is I really like sandwiches.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 11:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AWE YEAH,,, I just washed my dog with Axe body wash... He's gonna to get ALL DA B!TCHES
←Rate | 08-04-2012 10:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 22:24 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I blame everyone for my problems. Except Shaggy, Because we all know it wasn't him.
←Rate | 03-10-2013 15:10 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!
←Rate | 07-26-2013 12:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw 2 flies screwing today..and I swatted them and said "If I can't, you can't either.
←Rate | 08-08-2013 02:08 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 16:03 by danny boy Comments (0)  


   messageicon beating your meat as a teenager just prepares you for marriage...
←Rate | 01-24-2013 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHY do men cheat? Seriously... One woman is expensive enough!
←Rate | 01-29-2013 03:30 by Malichai Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to all the KKK members who have a birthday in Black History month and a birthday on the same day as MLK.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 05:50 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would kill the sexiest person on earth but suicide is a crime
←Rate | 01-19-2011 20:25 by SEXYONE Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity.When many people suffer from delusion, it is called religion....
←Rate | 03-19-2010 17:30 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what's more awkward, Answering Dora, Or sitting there in total silence while she stares at you..
←Rate | 10-28-2011 01:02 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not embarrassing that you're still writing 2014 on your checks... What you should be ashamed of, is that you still write checks.
←Rate | 01-04-2015 17:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius say: Woman who keep husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 20:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about the bullet that has your name on it. Worry about the one that says "To Whom it May Concern."
←Rate | 10-15-2013 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Women's fight club is don't tell anyone what you're mad about or why you're fighting
←Rate | 11-29-2013 07:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
←Rate | 12-01-2013 06:45 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your face doesn't look like a glazed donut ..your doing it wrong.
←Rate | 05-04-2014 03:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
←Rate | 07-18-2014 03:35 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left