Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I wonder if Santa's "list" goes from 12/25-12/25, or does the new list start on January 1st? I think we have a few days to be bad that aren't on record...

   Mythbuster: Homophones were not invented by Alexander Graham Bell's flowery nephew.

   life is short. have a ball, better yet have two

   Never believe anything until it has been officially denied

   Attention all joined-at-the-hip couples: "Inseparable" and "Insufferable" sound alike for a reason.

   If at first you don't succeed, you should have done it like I told you to do it in the first place!

   "Push for Power" at the Indy 500? Sounds like Mario Kart on the Wii. How long before Helio throws a little red turtle from his car to wipe out the guy in front of him?

   has some silly bandz, shaped, well... like circles... trade??

   It feels SO GOOD to get things accomplished... or at least I imagine it does. Do something and tell me what it's like.

   For some reason when I look at you, the alt+f4 button appear... Somehow I wonder

   I think tonight I'm gonna work on my grammar... Gonna see if I can get drunk enough to type in cursive...

   that was one of the longest games of hide-and-go-seek ever.

   Auto correct is like having a 4 year old play mad-libs with your email.

   My neighbor tried...BUT it is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap!!

   Anyone knows at what time the End of the world will be on Saturday? I feel like I owe it to myself to have one nice meal before it starts

   If you're not wearing green right now, shuffle your feet on the carpet and touch the screen to receive your "virtual pinch".

   thinking of deleting her friends on facebook that get 300,000 or higher on Bejeweled Blitz.. that way I can finally be #1!

   Today I caught myself smiling... I was thinking of you... Don't flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.

   Hide your true colors and let people paint their picture of you.

   Looks like OPEC is up to their old tricks again....I had to cash in a few T-Bills and sell off a kidney to fill up my truck this morning!