Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Thank GOD everyone agrees on what color traffic lights are!
←Rate | 03-03-2015 14:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
←Rate | 03-19-2015 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She is called a Bronze digger: when she has low standards.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the NY Giants should mentor Ray Rice they wont be beating anyone this season
←Rate | 09-09-2014 09:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where is Capt HUG A THUG when you need him aka Rev Al Not to sharpton
←Rate | 11-25-2014 08:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Britney Spears is set to make $19 million from her latest gigs in Las Vegas. Officially, this makes her the highest paid mime artist of all time.
←Rate | 09-26-2013 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I taught my neighbors kid how to trick or treat online, hopefully she puts her mothers credit card back!
←Rate | 10-31-2013 21:55 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee is awarded an engraved trophy... The loser is given an ingraived plack.
←Rate | 11-17-2013 19:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Used to work at a funeral home, and whenever I called out sick I always felt like I was leading them on.
←Rate | 03-22-2014 05:50 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away
←Rate | 04-22-2014 20:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The date I had last night didn't go very well. She called me immature. But its okay. She has cooties anyway. :-P
←Rate | 01-19-2016 08:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says ego trip like knowing you're completely unqualified yet still running for president.
←Rate | 02-04-2016 12:57 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
←Rate | 12-05-2013 03:01 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat, then I remember they just feed off attention.
←Rate | 02-05-2014 11:07 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
←Rate | 12-16-2013 12:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Ladies and gentlemen; we are gathered here today because SOMEBODY couldn't stay alive.” - This is why they don’t let me give speeches at funerals anymore.
←Rate | 01-04-2014 11:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A restraining order is kinda like a love note right?
←Rate | 01-25-2014 01:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don't worry, another study says you're just being paranoid.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
←Rate | 06-30-2014 11:29 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course I still stalk you online I'm just making sure I don't miss the moment when karma finds you
←Rate | 07-28-2014 09:27 Comments (0)  



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