Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I've had 4 cups of coffee in the past hour and now I look like I have Parkinson's.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 21:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The day I get my license is the day you get hit by a car.
←Rate | 08-06-2011 14:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I found your nose, it was in my business again!
←Rate | 08-30-2011 13:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon had a DNA paternity test done on my dogs new puppies....Turns out they all belong to Arnold Schwarzenegger. ツ
←Rate | 05-25-2011 08:14 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: The Washington Redskins, due to the embarrassing nature of their name, have decided to remove the "Washington" from it.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 18:36 by tomcall Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them.
←Rate | 11-09-2013 12:31 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday,, Someone once tried to break into my taxidermy studio,,, but I fought them off with my bear hands.
←Rate | 09-12-2015 01:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black lies Murder ....
←Rate | 07-18-2016 12:46 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Schiff is like a boil on the ass of democracy.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My leg fell asleep; so this means I qualify for handicap parking right?
←Rate | 05-13-2012 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes it's just easier to pay someone else than to try to do it yourself....Especially when that something is spreading herpes or glitter
←Rate | 02-10-2010 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear BP: Animals soaking up the oil is not a spill response plan.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 08:34 by mike Comments (1)  


   messageicon have I told you lately that I love you....? No? thats because I can't handle your miserable, twisted, soul destroying face anymore! Oh and by the way....I'm telling someone else I love them while you pack!
←Rate | 07-18-2010 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
←Rate | 10-08-2009 13:41 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boyfriend says I treat him like a child. So I gave him a sticker for standing up for himself.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 15:21 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon It ain't rocket science folks, women LOVE douchebags.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 14:54 Comments (2)  


   messageicon There's a woman in New Jersey that has a rare medical condition that makes her have 100's of unwanted orgasims. She has 100's of orgasims a day and is still complaining. That just proves women are never happy
←Rate | 01-09-2013 16:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon so poor that he can't even pay attention
←Rate | 02-28-2009 00:22 by Ivan The Terrible Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who are your favorite underground artists?? Mine are Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston
←Rate | 03-13-2012 22:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan has to ride seven miles a day with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of two dollars and we will send you the video its hilarious."
←Rate | 10-09-2012 18:00 by MWC Comments (0)  



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