Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   California has the highest rate of Depression and Adultery. It's a sad state of affairs.

   You know if you roll down fast and steady enough, it gives the illusion of electric windows.

   There is no place like home unless you are homeless...

   I just lost my self respect at the Golden Corral.

   You know those packets that come in beef jerky to keep it fresh? I just ate one... And it wasnt half bad..

   Every time a T.S.A. Agent touchs your junk... the terrorist win.

   37% of Americans agree that while they would hate being British, they wouldn't mind having a British accent.

   If you thought the Vuvuzelas at South Africa were annoying, wait til you hear the automatic weapons the Russians bring to the World Cup.

   a paranoid schitizophrenic, I think I'm following myself.

   You boys stay off of my yard, there's no damn milkshakes there!

   -- Liking your own facebook status is like a bloke congratulating his hand after a w**k!

   Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

   Bacon is best served with a side of bacon

   Dont you hate it when Madonna steals you from an african village!

   Facebook killed the Myspace star.

   If you havent practice your alibi in front of the mirror, you haven't been in-love.

   In the scale of 1 to Kanye West, how interruptive are you?

   Screw the economy! I got a job for you, but it blows...

   Found the pot at the end of the rainbow but the Leprechaun somked it!

   97% of people would scream if they saw justin bieber about to jump of a sky scraper 3% would sit in a chair with popcorn and yell "do a flip"