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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I would rather soak my berry's in maple syrup and sit on an ant hill than diddle Arnold Swartzenegger's baby momma!
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05-20-2011 10:25 by
totalpackage
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You don't just turn your swag on, you either got it or you don't.
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03-05-2011 21:40 by
TheOne
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that awkward moment when you hold the door for someone and you're left standing there for an eternity because they move at a turtle's pace.
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03-09-2011 02:46
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When I get real, real bored I like to go downtown and get a good parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
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03-15-2011 06:05
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Thursday 31st March is National Cleavage Day, a day to work it, love it & celebrate it.!! (@)Y(@)
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03-31-2011 10:23
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allergic to liars
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11-18-2008 18:46 by
Preeti
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If you are a new waiter at a Chinese restaurant does that make you the Lo Mein on the totem pole?
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02-26-2022 15:53
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I have nothing against black folk. One of my best friends thinks he is black.
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08-21-2013 09:45 by
equaloppjoker
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Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one....
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07-26-2012 13:24 by
Zubindalal1
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Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try.
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10-18-2012 08:06
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More people chose to be religious more from their fear of hell than their love of their faith.
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03-29-2013 11:02
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twighlight did to vampires what brokeback mountain did to cowboys
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12-29-2011 12:33
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No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.
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04-23-2012 11:29
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S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
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11-18-2010 02:04 by
BONNIE
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Playing Wheel Of Fortune- Phrase G_F_CK Y_ _RS_LF ..would you like to solve or would you like to buy a vowel??
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12-03-2010 11:49 by
Heather25
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What's more shocking than finding out Shirley Temple has died? Finding out Shirley Temple was still alive.
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02-11-2014 10:37 by
Joseph Robert
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Romney spent $800m to not be president. I spent nothing for the same result. Who's the better business man now?
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11-28-2012 14:37 by
Baddie
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Two cars crashed into each other in Mexico. 57 Dead.
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06-18-2012 13:09 by
StonerDudee
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Religious people on being born g@y: "There's no scientific proof!" Religious people on religion: "We don't need scientific proof!"
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11-19-2013 13:10
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The only reason women can't park is because we are constantly being lied to about what 8 inches really is.
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02-02-2012 01:29 by
@truebeachbabe
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