Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I would rather soak my berry's in maple syrup and sit on an ant hill than diddle Arnold Swartzenegger's baby momma!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 10:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't just turn your swag on, you either got it or you don't.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 21:40 by TheOne Comments (0)  


   messageicon that awkward moment when you hold the door for someone and you're left standing there for an eternity because they move at a turtle's pace.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 02:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get real, real bored I like to go downtown and get a good parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 06:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thursday 31st March is National Cleavage Day, a day to work it, love it & celebrate it.!! (@)Y(@)
←Rate | 03-31-2011 10:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon allergic to liars
←Rate | 11-18-2008 18:46 by Preeti Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are a new waiter at a Chinese restaurant does that make you the Lo Mein on the totem pole?
←Rate | 02-26-2022 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing against black folk. One of my best friends thinks he is black.
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:45 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one....
←Rate | 07-26-2012 13:24 by Zubindalal1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon More people chose to be religious more from their fear of hell than their love of their faith.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 11:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon twighlight did to vampires what brokeback mountain did to cowboys
←Rate | 12-29-2011 12:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 11:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 02:04 by BONNIE Comments (1)  


   messageicon Playing Wheel Of Fortune- Phrase G_F_CK Y_ _RS_LF ..would you like to solve or would you like to buy a vowel??
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:49 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's more shocking than finding out Shirley Temple has died? Finding out Shirley Temple was still alive.
←Rate | 02-11-2014 10:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Romney spent $800m to not be president. I spent nothing for the same result. Who's the better business man now?
←Rate | 11-28-2012 14:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two cars crashed into each other in Mexico. 57 Dead.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 13:09 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Religious people on being born g@y: "There's no scientific proof!" Religious people on religion: "We don't need scientific proof!"
←Rate | 11-19-2013 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason women can't park is because we are constantly being lied to about what 8 inches really is.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 01:29 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  



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