Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon it safe to snort coffee grinds? Asking for a friend..
←Rate | 10-20-2015 23:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .
←Rate | 11-26-2015 17:15 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Envy = inferiority
←Rate | 03-29-2014 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1964:"Remember kids," As our youth basketball coach said, "there's no "i" in team.".. "Not yet," whispers 5th grade Steve Jobs, ".. not yet."
←Rate | 04-08-2014 09:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being funny is so much hotter than being hot.
←Rate | 07-02-2014 13:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon So they dropped the charges against that Florida State QB? I guess they didn't find enough Seminole fluid...
←Rate | 12-06-2013 07:57 by luvthecubs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the saddest April Fools' joke is thinking there's only one day we devote to lying to each other.
←Rate | 04-01-2011 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not too concerned about the past, but the present, that's a different story. Did you bring me a present? In the future bring a present.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 15:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ass kissing has never been my thing and never will be..i'll chew broken glass before I kiss ass.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 11:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not like this Sam I Am. I do not like this Facebook scam. I do not like the new news feed. I do not like it, no indeed. I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's weird, so let me make
←Rate | 09-22-2011 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Facebook: Stop being like my Mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with!
←Rate | 10-06-2011 15:57 by Slasher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing imroves creativity like a lack of supervision!
←Rate | 10-06-2011 15:59 by Slasher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait to see whatever movie they're filming in London right now. Looks bad ass.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 01:36 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody is worth feeling like sh*t for, if they are not bringing you up, then drop their a$$ and stop letting them drag you down.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 06:45 by NO BODY Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or has the iPhone gone from spell correction to straight up "no no you would much prefer THIS random word" correction?
←Rate | 08-30-2011 13:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid.. That's ridiculous. If you have a gun, what in the hell do you have to be paranoid for?"
←Rate | 09-07-2011 21:54 by Wayne G Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your life would be sweeter if you spent more time around those impressed by you, not those you have to impress.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 03:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon girls should come with a carfax
←Rate | 07-07-2011 22:15 by bumpz Comments (0)  


   messageicon told my son he should drink plenty of electrolytes in this heat, he responded by asking me if I drink beer for the electrolytes
←Rate | 07-19-2011 18:57 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before sending a text to someone who I barely know I check over it a couple times Because I don't want them to think I'm weird
←Rate | 05-28-2011 21:54 Comments (0)  



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