Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife's clothes.

   normal..it's everyone else that's weird.

   Article on USA Today talking about guns "Role in suicides". I guess the next time someone jumps off a bridge, we will start talking about tearing all of the bridges in America down...

   cool like the other side of the pillow

   Imagine if the Amish had Facebook and played Mafia wars it would go sumtin like this ...."You were attacked by Don Yoder he has beaten you with A hoe, 3 horse n buggies, 6 bonnets, 3 aprons and a goat taking 1 energy and built you a chair!!!!!"

   How do you find will smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints...

   Im so happy Facebook wasnt around when I was in high school.

   There should be a Breast Cancer Awareness T-shirt that says "Yes they're fake! My real one's tried to kill me!"

   Does Jimmy Biden or Joe Carter have the better ring to it?

   alot of people when they go to concerts they yell out "Wooo! or Yeah!" I like to yell out more specific things like "The way you play you're Music makes feel Good Inside!!"

   you know why guns are better the woman? You can put a silencer on a gun

   NOTHING is more awkward then walking down an empty hallway and passing someone who you use to talk to but don't anymore.

   I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I'll drink the red

   I you don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't go to yours.

   Cleaning the house while the kids are awake is like trying to rake leaves in a hurricane.

   9 out of 10 doctors think that other one is just a hater

   I'm kinda like Han Solo. Always strokin my own wookie

   if someone sends me one more Farmville invite, I will banish your animals to a galaxy far, far away and set fire to your crops.

   Anyone else hate when there mom says they have to go to bed because it's too late? I mean really mom... it's 9 pm I know you are just looking out for me but I am 35 and I deserve some respect!