Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Hey? Islamis radicals..if your God tells you to kill people..please start with your self. Thanks real Americans!!

   has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!

   a fart is merely the cry of an imprisoned turd

   Obama comes out smelling like a rose either way with the fiscal cliff thing. If it passes, he takes credit and if it doesn't, he'll just blame the Republicans

   No, you may not "axe" me a question. I don't speak welfare.

   #Tebow will be the first person in history to leave the mile-high club a virgin.

   Bacon pie crust. Does that exist? Because if it doesn't I think I'm going to be a millionaire.

   In the Czech Republic abortions are known as cancelled Czechs

   ‎- My missus was so sick this morning........That I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast....

   Why Yes Officer...I did see the Speed Limit sign...I just didn't see YOUR car!

   With great power comes a great electric bill.

   Don't be sad, don't be blue, frankenstein was ugly too!

   you may bang hundreds of girls,but your heart belongs to one girl only....so keep banging till you find her.

   Two women are sitting in church. One leans over and whispers to the other, "My butt is going to sleep". The other replies, "I know, I've heard it snore three times"

   Am I the only one who has ever deleted a 'friend' just to use their status that was funny?

   discovered last weekend that if you play a Justin Biber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Biber

   Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?

   Bless the millions that will be attending the March for Life in DC today, with our President.

   I feel bad for the kids these days that see a cool toy on TV, but can't order it because their parents have to be over 18 to call.

   Sometimes when I'm bored, I bounce my boobs on the jfdslkhdjkhkjdvvgffdzbsldk;/ffdlskn\/njvglnxlk\cz/\/sl/\sn