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now only 2 for $2 (only at participating locations, some restrictions may apply, see store for details, offer void where prohibited) 
first there was mad cow disease, then bird flu, and now swine flu........OMFG it's FARMAGGEDDON!
Ed, Farrah, Michael, and now Billy Mays? WTF Hollywood!!!
if love is blind why is lingerie so popular
taking his 1st Karate lesson today @ the Ho Lee Chit Karate School
just watched CSI: Ozarks. The case went unsolved. Everyone's DNA was the same and there were no dental records.
Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates
stuck in the red twisty tube at chuck e cheese....being poked at and laughed at by brats!
Wondering if Google searches John Tesh for answers.
busy kidnapping yard gnomes.
Well that's funny...actions do not speak louder than words when you're beating a mime.
She's got more issues than your dad's porn stash.
my facebook wall is not the best way for me to respond to you Quicker,.. You'll have better luck getting a hold of me if you were to shout my name inside your own home... well,.. I guess depending on the situation."
I have a new philosophy to foster peace and harmony in the universe: GIVE ME WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT IT.
went to his first gambling anonymous meeting last night.. They gave me 2:1 odds that I won't make it...
A headache: Not how I expected to start my weekend... I was thinking more of ENDING it with one!
In new tape, Bin Laden 'furious' that Brian Wilson has scarier beard.....
Why be the doctor when you can be the patient? Why cook the food when you can eat it? Why drive the car when you can sit shot-gun? all these are reasons why I enjoy watching other people work.
Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.
“I was at Arby's the other day and I thought, ‘Oh sh*t, I should take someone's order.”
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