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Life is tough; it's even tougher when you're stupid.~~John Wayne 
Wonderbra: So named because once you get it off her, you wonder where the boobs went.
I LOVE my new x rated -GPS "Ahhh right there! Yes! Yes! Right there! Don't stop!!"
NEVER take fashion advice from someone who wears CROCS!!!
Boy: "How can I prove that I love you?" Girl: "Stop playing video games”.....Boy: "Get the fu*k out"
Man: I dont have a condom Girl: Its fine I am ready to be a mom Man: Oh sh*t wait, never mind I found one
I'll be completely honest with you... sometimes I shower naked.
I have a fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it
Uh oh. Wikipedia is going black that means it's never coming back.
You Basic women need to stop blaming every man for what your basic ass Ex did.
I hate when I shout the wrong answer out in class with confidence
Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute.
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
If I had a nickel for every time I ignored your petville request, I could buy the Los Angeles Zoo..
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
im so tired and sleepy that I might just sleep off on my keyboarrrdddddddgjcklyfjhjk dk;hdktyggy;f
I know a girl that's had so many guys that CSI refer to her as "DNA storage unit"...
There is talk of the Royal Wedding being broadcast in 3D. The United Kingdom should start preparing the world now for Charles's ears.
Dear Waldo: Bite me. Go find yourself.
It rubs the iPad on its skin or else it gets the Kindle again. 