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Remember, a doggie isn't just for Christmas... it's a f-kin good position all year round! 
Viagra is now available in powder form for your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.
When the Chinese teach their babies to eat with chopsticks,do they start them off with toothpicks?
BREAKING NEWS: Hologram Tupac Shakur has been shot...
when told the reason for daylight saving time, the old indian man said:- only a white man would believe you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of the blanket and have a longer blanket.
..a recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 men prefer big boobs. The 10th man just prefers the other 9 men.
What good is one phone call in jail if they won't let me use my cell to find the number, no one remembers phone numbers these days!
I think Its funny that my dad has figured out how to tag me in pics he upload to Facebook but the clock on his VCR has been wrong since 1987
Just opened a new tube of pringles - but disappointed - there's only three in there, and they're all tennis ball flavour.
Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
I like my women like I like my alcohol. Gone in the morning...
If you watch an Apple store get robbed... are you an iWitness?
What happens on Santa's lap.......stays on Santa's lap.
If you are keeping up with the Kardashians and you are a guy, I have bad news for you. You may not already know this but you are gay.
I was angry when my neighbors put a fence around their swimming pool but then I got over it
British accent: Justin Biebah. American: Justin Biebur. Australian: Jastin Beybah. You just tried out all of the accents, didnt you?
My girl says she doesn't want me j@rking off in the shower anymore. I told her its my d!ck and I'll wash it as fast as I want to.
if you are texting from your apple device.... just so you know when you hit send it's routed to a sweatshop in China, then retyped and sent out again.
Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s. 