Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 12:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon turns out I don't know the back of my hand as well as I thought I did.
←Rate | 07-29-2012 15:28 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Working on my hurricane prep list. Heineken's, Cigarette's, Red Cross phone number. All done!
←Rate | 08-22-2012 13:12 by sully Comments (1)  


   messageicon I shaved my right leg, just to feel i'm sleeping next to you :) j.G
←Rate | 08-29-2012 07:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you constantly post pics of you and your partner kissing, I am going to give you all the privacy you need...by deleting your ass.
←Rate | 11-04-2012 08:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real
←Rate | 11-17-2012 15:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I can hear myself getting fat.
←Rate | 11-18-2012 11:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a flying saucer today. It appeared out of nowhere followed right after by the flying cup that my girlfriend threw at me.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon every time I see a Buick, I look to see if it's Shaq, but it always some old white guy...
←Rate | 02-21-2013 19:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call me an optimist, but one day I hope to see changes in the Arab world. Like freedom of speech, democracy or someone smiling in public.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 08:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.
←Rate | 01-08-2013 18:58 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who do atheists thank for Friday?
←Rate | 01-11-2013 13:17 Comments (1)  


   messageicon my underwear is kinda half- assing it today
←Rate | 01-19-2013 14:01 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do the Chinese realize that when they visit this country, they buy souvenirs made in their country.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 09:27 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Females will stop speakin to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times.
←Rate | 09-03-2012 00:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies.. Yall had 7 months to get mentally prepared for Football Season. We dealt with yall Loser Wives shows all year!
←Rate | 09-21-2012 01:21 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 12:28 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon My facebook page is like a restaurant if you don't like what I am serving feel free to go somewhere else.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like kicking you in the face....but then again WHY should I help improve your looks?
←Rate | 01-10-2011 02:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drink, therefore I am.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 23:27 by AlliB513 Comments (0)  



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