Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Your sick, twisted, and rotten to the core!!!!! I like that in a person

   would rather check Facebook, than face his checkbook!

   just because your school can get 100,000 fans before another doesn't make it better... only thing it says is grads from your school have more free time. maybe because the other school's grads are at work while you're at home stalking people on facebook.

   Smith & Wesson - The first point-and-click interface?

   It's strap-on fat...and I can take it off anytime I want to!

   Irony: a fat guy at walmart getting his blood pressure checked with two big bags of doritos in his other hand:D

   Be rude to a bully and he'll beat you up, be rude to a geek and your computer will never forgive you.

   I suggest you don't wear orange in october if you're a little on the chunky side.

   internet is the only place where men are men, women are men, and 13 years old girls are FBI agents.

   wonders why hedgehogs don't just share the hedge...

   used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got her fired.

   spends 90% of his salary on booze and women... the rest I just waste

   Just read that Facebook has reached 500 million users. Congrats to everyone who helped create history's largest stalker.

   the reason why facebook created the "LIKE" Button

   Look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary and you know what you'll find? The definition of idiot, you idiot.

   I've just been fired from my job working on the Pakistani Flood's Crisis Hotline. Apparently telling callers to relax and "go with the flow" was not appropriate.

   I have found that the best stress reliever in life is not giving a crap.

   I'm a fruit loop in a world of cheerios.

   I pay a lot of money to get that vanilla/coco butter smell in my car. I want hookers to feel welcome, not like they're stepping into a death trap.

   wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell