Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Shake N' Bake

   Lindsay Lohan's upcoming film could be derailed by her failed drug tests. That is, unless her acting gets to it first.

   I really would've liked the movie about Facebook a whole lot more if it wasn't full of Farmville invites

   just seen Roy Hodgson speeding down the motorway at 140mph, with a splif in one hand a can of Carlsberg in the other. This fella will do anything for 3 points!!

   Hates it when I can't tell if it's a man or woman smiling at me. I don't know whether to smile back or run!!

   does Rosetta Stone have a version that teaches you English??

   I've never been to Long Island... but I've had their ice tea so many times I feel like they owe me bail money.

   it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious!

   I find Reality tv very educating... Every time somebody turns on a show, I go into the other room and read a book...

   Interesting Factoid: Tall people earn $789 per year per inch more than shorter people.

   how can I miss you if you won't go away?

   I will always cherish the nice things I assume you are saying about me.

   Has The Power To Make you read my status!! :D

   the nashnul spelling bee champion

   I've heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow. Hell, they should get jobs in the Lipstick Color Naming Department at Revlon

   no retreat no surrender no compromise no going back

   you'll always be my hero. even though you've lost your mind

   People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.

   The hot nurse wants to take a blood sample. If I can get some back into my veins, I'll oblige her.

   was about to put on my white jeans then realized it's after Labour Day. Phew, what a fashion mistake that would have been. I put on my acid washed jeans and leg warmers instead.