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My son asked me where poo came from. I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest answer. He looked perplexed and stared at me for a minute then asked….and tigger? 
Sure are a lot of gender reveals for their being no genders
the worst part about lockdown is thinking of all those Pokémon outside just waiting to be found
When the pandemic ends, don’t forget to update your Face ID so your phone can recognize you without that cheeto dust mustache.
So what caused GM to beg for a bailout 10 years ago. I am sure it wasnt bad management
Like this status if you're the type of person who likes to carry all your groceries into your house in one trip, but then realize at the front door you have so many bags in your hands you can't get the keys out of pocket.
I can't get a break. I bought a can of evaporated milk, opened it up...it was full.
Come on people now Smile on your brother Everybody get together Try to love one another Right now
As I walk through Walmart......all the sudden the election makes sense.
But the Atlanta Falcons won the popular vote! How could this happen?!
#NOTMYSUPERBOWL
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Today is International Women's Day, It was supposed to be yesterday, but they couldn't get everything ready on time.
The phrase "fake news" is getting just as annoying as "wazzz-uuuuup"
I'm out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
If the start of a Basketball game is called a Tip-off, why isn’t the start of a Hockey game called a Puck-off?
Why is lemonade made with artificial flavor, while furniture polish is made with real lemons?
I have depression. A friend suggested I need to get out more so I went to the beach. Now I have a Tropical Depression.
Got some good financial news today. The kid I've been sponsoring in some third-world country got eaten by a lion.
I just got hit head on by a crazy women riding a menstrual cycle.
a sneaking suspicion that we've read this before. if you read them here 5 or 10 pages ago odds are we did too. 