Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Homework: "Do me!" Facebook: "Don`t listen to that slut."

   My maths teacher asked me what comes after 69? Apparently "I do" is not the correct answer

   Who wants to replay the Superbowl next weekend, just so we can have another party?

   You're clearly God's gift to women...if God shopped at the dollar store.

   What an amazing state .. Florida screws up elections and trials

   Guys posting about the royal wedding should have their MAN CARDS revoked!!!

   funny how guys show off there muscles just to get a woman's attention on here, but never show off brains........let alone their hearts.

   What are three words a man doesn't want to hear during sex? "Honey i'm home!"

   nothing worse than whacking the door frame with morning wood

   Use OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", What does that make the Tennessee Titans?

   I love it when Friday is in town :))))) because she always brings her friends Saturday and Sunday along too!

   they should just put a shamwow on the oil spill.

   99 donuts cause the B!tch ate one

   All my friends who have Girlfriends want to be single... All my friends who are single want girlfriend friends... As for me, I just want a slave...

   According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes... and women say the first thing they notice about men iss they're a bunch of liars.

   Growing up in New Orleans, Peyton Manning always dreamed he would throw the winning pass to help the Saints win the Super Bowl! Mission accomplished!

   Today's Quote "Not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!

   Hey guys. Everybody. let's all give Santa a break this year.......Be naughty.

   I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges

   ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.