Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner, if she stops sucking, replace the bag
←Rate | 02-26-2012 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the 2nd day of the rest of your life. Yep, yesterday was the 1st day and you totally wasted it didn't you.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 13:52 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon i haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
←Rate | 07-06-2009 17:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most confusing day in the ghetto is Fathers Day
←Rate | 06-19-2011 09:37 by Weeg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girls needs to stop freaking out about being called "dude". Just keep calm, it's basically a unisex term
←Rate | 03-09-2011 02:54 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass
←Rate | 04-10-2011 17:37 by Dstiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got kicked out the pool today,apperently the breaststroke isn't what I thought it was
←Rate | 08-19-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walk into the 7/11, and the female clerk says, "You look JUST like my fourth husband!" I said, "Really...you've been married four times?' She goes, "No. Three."
←Rate | 08-29-2011 05:02 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love 'em or hate 'em, you have to admit, Beyonce' and J-Lo never do anything half-assed.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 16:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are a woman and you dont like or enjoy sex, please tell me right away before I invest my feelings and money in you. What I am really looking for is a proud nympho.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For sale. One Afghan bed, no longer required as owner has gone to sea. Looks new but it has bin laid in.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy "Steak and BJ Day". I'll take both well done.
←Rate | 03-14-2012 02:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 17:05 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4th of July on a Wednesday? That's so Ghetto...
←Rate | 07-03-2012 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The funniest thing about the Darth Vader kid car commerical was that the parents thought they started the car.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon This could turn out to be one hell of an April Fools joke if Malaysia Airlines pulls it off...
←Rate | 03-14-2014 07:37 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:44 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Ark, Day 1,,,, NOAH: OK, lions, you're in L CARGO,,, bears, you're in B CARGO,,, and snails, you're in S CARGO....
←Rate | 06-24-2015 19:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad to watch folks who have been lied to by the Dems, CNN and the MSM for so long that they don't know the truth when they finally see it face to face.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kaepernick has to keep coming up with reasons to stay relevant since he sucks at qb...
←Rate | 10-16-2017 19:21 Comments (0)  



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