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-- Magazine collectors, they have a lot of issues.... 
has decided not to call them BRAs from now on and instead refer to them as BOOBIE TRAPS! coz it just sounds more fun to say
gave a pint of blood today... too bad it was at the dentist's office
You ever see a van so creepy it feels like the guy actually said "rape-van" when the car salesman asked him what he was looking for?
"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Okay has anyone ever stopped to think how pissed of, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be once released from the barrel?
I finally got my wireless internet to work...this is the best thing to happen to me since the negative pregnancy test...
i have no problem sacrificing for friends......... but it is hard to find a virgin and suitable altar
My transformation into a baby seal is almost complete.
According to my horoscope, I'm going to get rich today. According to my Youtube comments, I'm a "douche." Life is confusing.
I think the cinema should give you an extra "Previews Popcorn" when you buy a "Movie Popcorn"
Remember when I loved you unconditionally? Well the terms of that arrangement have changed.
Maybe instead of running your mouth you should try jogging a few miles to sweat that hatred out.
How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Just before I wrecked myself, I had the sense to chickity check myself.
I'm at my sexiest when it's last call and you're pi$$ed at your boyfriend
Why are there jelly donuts but no peanut butter donuts? And why no peanut butter and jelly donuts? And why is my mother an alcoholic?
Squirrels have 4 teeth.... Jealous Tennessee?
It's totally ok to create a Facebook account for your pet, provided you have severe mental retardation.
Roses are red, your body is fine, I know we just met, but your place or mine?
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