Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I have a chip on my shoulder(Cool Ranch Dorito)

   If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.

   Apologies to the vegatarians, My food poops on your food,

   If you don't make time for those in your life that are important, then don't be surprised when one day they stop making time for you.....

   while at a local Chinese restaurant I noticed a suggestion box and I wrote, "Free Tibet"

   You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

   That girl is such a drunk. Every time I'm at a bar she's there.

   dear grades, get well soon...

   I don't trust girls with mustaches.

   I got so drunk last night I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.

   "Vegeterian" is American Indian for 'Bad Hunter'

   ever since watching the SNL skit, I can never hear BOC's "Don't Fear The Reaper" without thinking - "Man, that song could use some more cowbell!"

   The most craziest thing happened to me today...a snowman came up to me and said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Unbelievable right!?! My birthday is clearly in September! Stupid snowmen....

   Does not set out to shock or offend anyone, but also does not do anything to prevent it.

   Arkansas forecast for tomorrow ...3 inches of birds

   someday everything will all make sense

   The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

   Sorry I burst into uncontrollable laughter at something you didn't remotely intend to be funny

   Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.

   Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity