Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Finally with today's paycheck, I've saved up enough cash to get the "gold" package on my '93 Sentra.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 15:54 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I declined an iTunes Terms & Conditions update. Immediately my phone rang. A cold robotic voice said "wrong move silly human."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 09:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama was right about North Korean, no need to go to war to remove Dictator Kim Jong .
←Rate | 12-19-2011 09:24 by Bboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You say you belong to Jesus but half of your profile pics are X-rated.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in... Casey Anthony just got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from the stripclub Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 23:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My number one New Year's Resolution is: Don't die.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 18:16 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Selfish people end up with no real friends......and they deserve it
←Rate | 01-05-2012 10:35 by josh F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dwayne Wade n Chris Bosh both took cpr classes this summer... just incase Lebron decides to choke again this year.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:45 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahhh yes! My favourite day of the year, Friday the 13th,, ,, just sharpened my machete and dusted off my goalie mask,, well, off to the lake, see you later!!
←Rate | 01-13-2012 12:47 by Gary Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl Alt and Del, so if they f#@k up I can hit them all at once.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 14:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love a woman with passionate thoughts, eloquent words, and a beautiful mind...oh, and a nice rack too!
←Rate | 04-16-2012 21:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Save money! Plastic christmas tree...plastic valentine roses.
←Rate | 02-14-2012 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you have tattoos all over your body doesn't mean you look buff with your shirt off..
←Rate | 02-17-2012 18:58 by Pimpdaddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend in need is a pest indeed.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 13:01 by Hannibal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whatever you do DO NOT look the bell ringers in the eye's...
←Rate | 11-18-2010 15:42 by wendy rafferty Comments (7)  


   messageicon How come some people always think they have to have the last text?
←Rate | 11-18-2010 17:47 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 15:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: helping people stay in touch with their exs they shouldn't be staying in touch with, one break up at a time.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. Ice Cream man: Please change your song.. That sh!t was played out in the 80's
←Rate | 05-16-2010 22:54 by jdpower Comments (0)  



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