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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Finally with today's paycheck, I've saved up enough cash to get the "gold" package on my '93 Sentra.
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12-09-2011 15:54 by
Goodeolboy
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I declined an iTunes Terms & Conditions update. Immediately my phone rang. A cold robotic voice said "wrong move silly human."
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12-13-2011 09:14 by
flinnie
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Obama was right about North Korean, no need to go to war to remove Dictator Kim Jong .
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12-19-2011 09:24 by
Bboy
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You say you belong to Jesus but half of your profile pics are X-rated.
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12-23-2011 08:57
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This just in... Casey Anthony just got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from the stripclub Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas everyone!
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12-24-2011 23:02
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My number one New Year's Resolution is: Don't die.
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01-01-2012 18:16 by
hihuggiehi
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Selfish people end up with no real friends......and they deserve it
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01-05-2012 10:35 by
josh F
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Dwayne Wade n Chris Bosh both took cpr classes this summer... just incase Lebron decides to choke again this year.
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01-12-2012 21:45 by
g0re
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Ahhh yes! My favourite day of the year, Friday the 13th,, ,, just sharpened my machete and dusted off my goalie mask,, well, off to the lake, see you later!!
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01-13-2012 12:47 by
Gary
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I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl Alt and Del, so if they f#@k up I can hit them all at once.
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04-02-2012 14:27
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I love a woman with passionate thoughts, eloquent words, and a beautiful mind...oh, and a nice rack too!
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04-16-2012 21:36 by
BEGO
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Save money! Plastic christmas tree...plastic valentine roses.
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02-14-2012 11:12
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Just because you have tattoos all over your body doesn't mean you look buff with your shirt off..
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02-17-2012 18:58 by
Pimpdaddy
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A friend in need is a pest indeed.
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11-12-2010 13:01 by
Hannibal
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Whatever you do DO NOT look the bell ringers in the eye's...
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11-18-2010 15:42 by
wendy rafferty
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How come some people always think they have to have the last text?
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11-18-2010 17:47 by
Nunthewizr
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Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
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11-19-2010 15:58 by
Marshall the Great
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Facebook: helping people stay in touch with their exs they shouldn't be staying in touch with, one break up at a time.
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12-04-2010 16:02
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Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
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04-28-2010 22:34 by
Joser
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Dear Mr. Ice Cream man: Please change your song.. That sh!t was played out in the 80's
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05-16-2010 22:54 by
jdpower
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