Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Deplorable and Proud. -My new T-Shirt

   I think you're giving hillary a lot of credit calling her a "trailer park". She's a tent site, at best.

   What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.

   Just remember when you vote that they care more about party than country.

   One candidate wanted to make America great. The other wanted to get RICH

   A Jehovah's Witness guy showed up at my door so I invited him, I sat him down and said, "So, what do you have to tell me?" He said, "I don’t know, I've never made it this far."

   If Justin Bieber thinks he's the Kurt Cobain of this generation why hasn't he killed himself yet?

   Does ke$ha go by k€sha when she's in Europe?

   Doctor: Sir, you will have to stop masterbating. Me: Why?? Dr: Because I'm trying to take your blood pressure.

   To all the people who failed out of school, just remember 2 things: 1. You tried your best! 2. I said no tomatoes on my burger, b1tch!

   Yo momma so fat, your family tree leans on one side!

   Why am I single? Oh, because I like to have guilt free casual sex with a variety of women.

   at Ground Zero instead of a mosque they should construct a couple of tall buildings for global trade and commerce. They should be called something like the World Trade Center

   finally knows why leprechauns laugh when they run...? It's because the grass tickles their nuts...

   NO AMNESTY!!!. Real Americans don't want it!!

   First the Jerk cut me off in traffic, then stole my parking space, then his stupid car got paint all over my key!

   Kim & Kanye naming their daughter North West is like Alicia Keys naming her child Car... Car Keys.

   If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.

   I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. That crazy thing would never shut up. The parrot was kind of cool, though.

   Febreeze should make mouthwash