Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I can't even explain how my blow up doll makes me feel before sex. She really takes my breath away.

   I can tell how much weight I need to lose by whether I get hit on by a white, Mexican or bl@ck guy.

   Single bells, single bells,single all the way oh what fun it is to see couples fight all day hey!

   I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"

   haha this is so sweet.. apparently you can use your imagination to travel to diff. times/places. grounded my ass.

   Crotchless panties because how else would we grip our broomstick?

   Soon Hurricane Sandy will be like Snookie... blowing the entire east coast.

   There's a reason why natural disasters have female names.

   Waiting Until after Dec 21st to do my shopping ....why waste my money ?

   If I'm murdered, I hope I'm able to write out the killer's name in blood and then "sucks" underneath

   The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy.

   Lindsay Lohan drives drunk, was busted for coke, steals cars, steals necklaces, and still manages to get a standing ovation on Leno!?!!

   Barack Obama will now have a book signing tour for his new book called "How I Took Down Bin Laden"

   Stupid Press.....thanks for letting the crazies know where the navy Seals families live....good job. "she can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye"

   The cops came at my house last night and told me my dogs had been chasing someone on a scooter. I told them off. My dogs don't even have a scooter..

   wondering why Tarzan doesnt have a beard?

   My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them stuff in person.

   If your parents don't have children. Chances are you won't either.

   The 3 C's of life; Choice, Chance, Change. You must make the Choice to take the Chance if you want anything to Change.

   Baby, you are my number one, even my number two knows that.