Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   There’s nothing more annoying than having a song stuck in your head that you don’t know all the words to.

   You send me endless invites to play games here on Facebook but didn't send me an invite to your party...

   I'll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers

   There should be a "I've seen enough" button.

   This weekend feels like its going to be a "safe-word free" type of weekend.

   It might be Friday ...... BUT.... SUNDAYS COMING!!!!

   Phone case designs are the perfect way of measuring someone's maturity level.

   When I was a kid my nightmares usually involved me going to school in my underwear. Now, they involve me going to the bathroom with out my phone.

   I hate when women reject me cause I don't have money. I want them to reject me for who I truly am

   i live in a land of fantasy so keep your reality the hell away from me.

   The early bird needs a punch in the throat.

   Karen on Facebook says she's… "Grabbing 2013 by the b*lls!" Karen's been a total slut since the divorce.

   Which came first, tired or cranky?!

   this bottle of scotch will mix well with this evening's decisions

   "I'll need a table for 5 and napkins for 70.".... -- Me, with my wife and kids entering any restaurant--

   If Kellen Winslow offers to bring you Boston Market, say NO!

   Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?

   I knew my girlfriend was getting fat once she started fitting into my wife's clothes.

   Sorry I knocked your baby out of your arms during my air drum solo, but Metallica.

   Talk to your kids about drugs. Always stay informed about what drug is cool. You don't wanna be a nerd parent.