Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm drunk and horny but not "call my ex" drunk and horny...
←Rate | 01-27-2014 21:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon O.J. gave Broncos a better name
←Rate | 02-03-2014 07:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son is really struggling with english in school. Nobody else in his class can speak it.
←Rate | 03-08-2018 01:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon So ABC/Disney cancel "Last Man Standing".... The Hollywood left strikes again.
←Rate | 05-11-2017 17:05 by Soflpaul Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do rednecks get fatter so they can have bigger tattoos?
←Rate | 06-01-2019 19:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry, but sleeping with someone named "Stormy" doesn't make you an expert on hurricanes.
←Rate | 09-06-2019 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.
←Rate | 09-25-2020 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Channel X Is Temporarily Not In Service. Please Tune In To Your Own Life For Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast.
←Rate | 12-04-2009 12:00 by fefe Comments (0)  


   messageicon So here we are at the beginning of a new year. After spending this past week reflecting on 2009, I've discovered that I was right 98% of the time, so I'm not really concerned with the other 3% when I was mistaken
←Rate | 01-09-2010 21:15 by Spence Comments (0)  


   messageicon some advice for the youngsters on Facebook. You can do anything you want to do in life, unless Jay Leno wants to do it too
←Rate | 01-14-2010 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 22:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's not me or my actions that bug you, it's that you let them bug you.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 01:03 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon translating naughty words on google translate.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent 100 million dollar study conducted by Harvard University just discovered that running out of money may be the main cause for Bankruptcy.
←Rate | 05-07-2010 14:49 by Tracy Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if a bunch of Shamwows will help clean up the spill in the Gulf
←Rate | 05-07-2010 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two girls, one cup.........The Williams sisters at Wimbledon.
←Rate | 05-27-2010 08:14 by l33t Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of it
←Rate | 05-31-2010 23:32 by Bacha Comments (0)  


   messageicon the grass may be greener on the other side... but it is just as hard to mow.
←Rate | 07-10-2010 07:19 by Bindi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we arent meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge?
←Rate | 07-27-2010 19:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My preferred answer to the question "Isn't it a bit early to start drinking?" is "It seems a bit late to be sober."
←Rate | 08-01-2010 23:03 Comments (0)  



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