Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Everyone in life has a purpose, even if it's to serve as a bad example

   You know your hungry when you start eating some old cough drops

   Holding ALT and pressing F4 will fix all of your facebook problems...Your Welcome :)

   Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills

   We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up like Batman & The Joker.

   Universal truth: You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

   doesn't get drunk - I get awesome!

   who had the bright idea of putting an "s" in the word lisp?

   loving how the voice in her head GETS LOUDER WHEN SHE USES CAPS LOCK!

   Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?

   Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in....

   When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?

   feeling sofa king great today!!!!!

   hasn't had sex since the last time you were out of town.

   the one question that baffled researchers for ages..where are my keys?

   It's so cold outside right now that angry drivers are flipping each other the mitten!

   And as another Christmas ends my mind drifts and once again, I'm thinking like a six year old. Only 364 days to go.

   I hope Gryffindor wins the World Cup.

   Officer, I was not "texting" while driving. I was "watching a movie on my iPad"

   The reverse side also has a reverse side?