Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Its Couples Week! Copy And Paste This With the Date When You Got Together! Well, since I'm single I think I'll just go have casual, no strings attached sex and not have deal with remembering about the date of it.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
←Rate | 07-22-2009 10:03 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon While stepping over the broken bodies and blood spattered glass, my heart sank as I suddenly realized that the burrito shop was closed.
←Rate | 10-11-2009 22:42 by Daniel | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:08 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jerry springer say's, "The difference between his guests and politicians are the number of their teeth."
←Rate | 11-01-2010 16:35 by jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon To save time, let's just assume I know everything.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 01:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if the truth hurts. why are you not crying?
←Rate | 12-16-2009 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 16:37 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Year's Day - Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 13:46 by Middletits Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?
←Rate | 01-08-2010 23:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 23:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our Parents Spend half Our Lives Trying to get us to Stand up and talk now they 0nly want to see you sit down and shut up
←Rate | 02-03-2010 00:56 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon . Life is like a can of beans. It lets out a toot every so often and is worth a good laugh!
←Rate | 03-02-2010 21:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that Valentine's Day is Halloween's evil, hateful twin.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 22:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey. You in the camouflage outfit. I can see you.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 08:44 by Fazlo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought I suffered from low self-esteem. Turns out, I suffer from accurate self-esteem.
←Rate | 05-05-2013 10:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco De Mayo is just like St. Patrick's Day, except with tequila.
←Rate | 05-05-2013 12:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a leader not a follower! Unless its a dark place, then F that, you're going first!
←Rate | 05-10-2013 18:40 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My quest for greatness has turned into a blind fumble for ok.
←Rate | 05-21-2013 12:20 Comments (0)  



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