Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Hey guys, don't ever show a lot of interest in a woman you just started getting to know. If you do, even if she likes you she will stop showing interest.

   My ex posted a pic captioned, "Just me" and I commented, "Yes just you and your 7 personalities" Now I am deleted and blocked.

   NEW FB VIRUS!! THIS IS A BAD ONE!! This virus looks up your kids' birth certificates and sells them on Ebay, your dog will run away, you will gain weight, your cell phone won't get reception, cats and mice will unite, Reading this may have infected you!

   Spongebob is Asian. He's yellow, can't drive and does karate.

   i set my dvr to record the bigest loser and all I get is dallas cowboys games

   S.H.I.T.: So Happy It's Thursday.

   ever notice how Black History Month is the shortest month of the year?

   went to Facebook and all I got was this stupid status message.

   went on a 9th date with a girl, we watched Batman. so far its been dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMANN!

   girls look back at your wedding photos, if you are fatter than that, he is not happy..

   What did the left pu$$y lip say to the other? We used to be so tight until we let some d*ck come between us.

   Whoever has my voodoo doll out there ... please scratch between my shoulder blades.

   wonders if the people who spend £2 each on those Evian bottles know that backwards it spells Naive..

   ‎*SINGLE* is NOT a status. It's a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live & enjoy life without depending on others.

   I stand right next to the "God Hates Fags" guy with a sign that says "Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"

   ..Whenever I'm frustrated, I like picturing my enemies being d!ck-slapped in the face. ..not by mine of course. I wanna hurt em, not kill em..(",)

   Thanks you NATO, USA, UK and everyone else who helped us in our fight to oust the Gadhafi the dictator. - LIBYAN PEOPLE

   Whenever I worry that I've been wasting my life, I cheer myself up by remembering that I have never read a Twilight book.

   Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Sorry, you must've misunderstood me. I said: "you look fat in those pants!"

   I bet if Adam and Eve were Chinese, they would have eaten the snake and not the apple.