Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I've spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn't rhyme with good.

   Anyone else notice that "The Los Angeles Angels" directly translates to "The The Angels Angels"?

   How do I love thee? Let me count the empty cans.

   Got a headache from looking at all the options of headache relief.

   The word "epic" has lost the right to exist.

   has problems with asthma. Like what the hell is the 'th' in there for?

   ‎45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.

   "To generalize is to be an idiot." - William Blake, or one of those other poet guys.

   Cape Town: The world's largest Superhero Retirement community.

   I like E.L.O. Cause if you say it fast enough you sound like a fun dad answering the phone

   Oh, I'm so sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

   Drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise.

   When you go Black you never go back. Black Coffee that is.

   most problems can be solved with good friends, good chocolate, or good beer. For everything else, there's duct tape.

   Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.

   "Id rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not"

   says Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" use to be a punishment...

   Many great discoveries are made by not following instructions.

   has often thought that what doesn't kill us makes us drink stronger liquor

   "Happy let everybody else report to work month. See you in September!" ~ Brett Favre