Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Oh you got your middle finger up in your profile pic? You mother must be really proud of a job well done raising you.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. My liver might have just started waving the white flag.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 17:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark
←Rate | 04-09-2012 21:13 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real home improvement warehouse would have a marriage counselor.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having a problem with sexual harassment at work. There isn't any.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 23:54 by canadian25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next time someone tells me they feel like a million bucks I'm going to try to deposit them into my checking account.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Herman Cain has 99 problems and apparently a b!tch is all of them.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 16:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Oh wow, way better!” -Jedi Knight trying out a gun
←Rate | 06-03-2012 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rodney King has been found dead in pool - Early reports say that the LA police are not suspects in his death.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like you. You're the right amount of dysfunctional that I'm attracted to.
←Rate | 06-26-2012 05:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 06:05 by @DoN_KheirLeoNe Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dislike button on facebook would be cool at first, but it would eventually just cause a lot of controversy and drama. Especially if you could dislike peoples entire profiles. That would not go well..
←Rate | 10-25-2011 16:43 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.. but Leonardo Dicaprio had a dream inside a dream inside a dream.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:41 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me, or does "Bananas in Pyjamas" just sound like a safe sex campaign.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 19:06 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meanwhile, on the east coast, thousands of children are changing their costume from pirate to snowboarder.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 20:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Facebook, people respect you for sharing your deepest secrets and flaws. Unless those flaws are typos, in which case, die in a fire.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 19:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my kids enjoy the free cardboard box and balloons the most
←Rate | 11-06-2011 18:07 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon NBC is paying Conan O'Brien 30 million dollars to do absolutely nothing. As a result, Conan has been named an honorary New York Knick.
←Rate | 01-29-2010 16:44 by tomcall Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 17:13 Comments (0)  



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