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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Oh you got your middle finger up in your profile pic? You mother must be really proud of a job well done raising you.
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03-31-2012 08:05
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I think I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. My liver might have just started waving the white flag.
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04-05-2012 17:41 by
Marshall the Great
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One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark
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04-09-2012 21:13 by
BEGO
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A real home improvement warehouse would have a marriage counselor.
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02-18-2012 15:01
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I'm having a problem with sexual harassment at work. There isn't any.
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02-28-2012 23:54 by
canadian25
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The next time someone tells me they feel like a million bucks I'm going to try to deposit them into my checking account.
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03-02-2012 13:29
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Herman Cain has 99 problems and apparently a b!tch is all of them.
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11-29-2011 12:24
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I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
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12-14-2011 16:24 by
Marshall the Great
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“Oh wow, way better!” -Jedi Knight trying out a gun
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06-03-2012 13:56
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Rodney King has been found dead in pool - Early reports say that the LA police are not suspects in his death.
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06-17-2012 11:56
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I like you. You're the right amount of dysfunctional that I'm attracted to.
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06-26-2012 05:50
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Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
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10-17-2011 06:05 by
@DoN_KheirLeoNe
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A dislike button on facebook would be cool at first, but it would eventually just cause a lot of controversy and drama. Especially if you could dislike peoples entire profiles. That would not go well..
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10-25-2011 16:43 by
g0re
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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.. but Leonardo Dicaprio had a dream inside a dream inside a dream.
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10-26-2011 17:41 by
g0re
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it me, or does "Bananas in Pyjamas" just sound like a safe sex campaign.
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10-29-2011 19:06 by
g0re
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Meanwhile, on the east coast, thousands of children are changing their costume from pirate to snowboarder.
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10-29-2011 20:14 by
Doc Noland
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On Facebook, people respect you for sharing your deepest secrets and flaws. Unless those flaws are typos, in which case, die in a fire.
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11-02-2011 19:23
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my kids enjoy the free cardboard box and balloons the most
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11-06-2011 18:07 by
smeebert
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NBC is paying Conan O'Brien 30 million dollars to do absolutely nothing. As a result, Conan has been named an honorary New York Knick.
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01-29-2010 16:44 by
tomcall
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If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
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02-13-2010 17:13
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