Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm not needy. I'm wanty!

   You know it's cold outside when you go outside and trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it

   these foreigners are all the same, once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.

   It's sad when I watch the news and the Weatherman is the one closet to the truth...

   It's only been 1 year of Biden! Let that sink in for a bit while you decide if you want gas OR groceries.

   Behind every successful man is a woman. She's behind him because he's running away from the crazy b1tch as fast as he can.

   Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.

   If a womans pregnant and uses a vibrator, does the kid come out with a stutter?

   Let's hope this Eclipse tonight is better than the last Twilight movie....

   What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?.... Wipes his ass.

   Do you think in China the forklifts are called chopstick lifts?

   It's cool when a band smashes their equipment after their last song. It'd be even cooler if Creed did it before their first song.

   Did you know if you go into google search and type in "askew" the page will shift to the right? Go try it!

   wishes the voices in his head would quit singing off-key

   We don't need "another" Immigration Bill. We need to enforce the law of the land and send them HOME.... Since when it is become fashionable to REWARD people for breaking the law????

   He's not really dead, he's trapped in the jungle waiting for some to roll an 5 or 8

   Tell me more about this victum role you play due to the circumstances that you've created for yourself.

   Last month,, An ancient tampon was found in a cave in the Yucatan... Archaeologists are not sure which period it's from.

   Ladies: Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing sitting down. Maybe YOU can learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining when you leave it dow

   Dear young guys who don't know what Cougars are: Let me introduce myself.