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Turns out, “Dress for the job you want," does NOT mean you should show up to a job interview in footie pajamas. 
so does this mean there are no more Kodak moments?
The Soul Train has been derailed....RIP....Don Cornelius....
I'm finally rich! I have...Silver in my hair, gold in my teeth, crystal in my kidneys, sugar in my blood, lead in my ass, iron in my arteries ans an inexhaustable supply of natural gas!
I shot the parrot. But I did not kill the parakeet..
I have no adult supervision today and there is a peanut butter pie in the fridge...this will not end well.
Men! If you don't sleep with them, they never call...if you do sleep with them, they never call. You may as well get a good f**k out of the deal.
Remember, Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.
If your relationship has more issues than a magazine stand then I suggest you cancel that subscription
Why are 3 of the 4 judges on America's Got Talent foreigners??
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I didn't say you were stupid, I said that "i see a pole and body glitter in your future"
An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Bull$hitt. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
Carpe Scrotum (grab life by the balls)
Humans are the only creatures on earth that will cut down trees, make paper, then write "SAVE TREES" on them.
The phonetic alphabet for BJ is "Bravo Juliette." Which is exactly what I say to my girlfriend after a blow job....
The state of Washington is looking for a marijuana consultant now that marajuana has been legalized. That must be one of those green jobs president Obama is always talking about.
If you're an American who feels that you are represented in your government, please contact me. I love people with imaginations.
terrorists are starting to get worried coz Americans have now started to steal their jobs
16 and a Olympian > 16 and Pregnent
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