Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   congrats to obama's teleprompter on its best supporting win at the oscars last night

   What does the nfl and brokeback mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck

   playing marco polo with random people

   well America looks like you can kill little girls and get away with it these days...Who wants to track down Bieber with me?

   If your boyfriend can't bench press you then you have a girlfriend.

   Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..

   .i. love \i/

   :I think I'm going to start calling other white guys "my Cracker" And get angry when black guys say it... No?

   I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from.

   "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer: "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

   Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas... Except herpes, that will come back with you.

   People who are, "Just sayin'" should try, "Just shutting the f**k up."

   I hope that the three brothers who kidnapped and held those girls for so long suffer immensely for the rest of their lives in prison.

   China into Taiwan next. You heard it here first.

   I expect all atheists to be at work bright and early tomorrow...

   search "google gravity" and then click "I'm feeling lucky"!!! :)

   Here is a episode for mythbusters------do fat chicks really give better head

   The big bag of Halloween candy has already been opened. The outcome does not look good for trick or treaters on Sunday.

   I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?" He said "I don't know." I replied "I'm not coming in this morning"

   Did the shooting happen at westboro baptist church by any chance?